foolishness and the peacemakers

a dear sweet friend, who is much more wise and grace-filled than i once pointed out the exact phrasing in "blessed are the peaceMAKERS, for they will be called children of God"--matthew 5:9

it doesn't say "peaceKEEPERS" it says "...MAKERS"

KEEP--maintain what already is

MAKER--create/facilitate where there is a lack of

(how much more humility does it take, and a doing away with our own pride to walk into a life, situation, group where there is hate, strife, anger, and judgement and say "Jesus, show us how, show us how to love and help make peace, help mend!") 

after reading (ashamedly for the first time) The Hiding Place, that seed has grown into something i didn't really expect:

forgiveness. joy. 

of all the horrible things i've heard since we began the adoption of our sweet girl, the most awful has pushed me away form a family member that said it. our daughter was called a "punishment". it was phrased as this, "i just don't understand why you want to punish yourself for the rest of your life". 

i've been filled with anger toward this family member. i refuse to let them even be around our daughter when she's home at this point. our daughter is not a punishment, she is the one that has suffered for the last 10 years without a family coming for her. she is a blessing. a sweet whisper from God. 

between reading of the incredible joyful spirit in the midst of awful circumstances that betsie ten boom showed, it reminded me i had not changed my mindset of the peaceMAKER vs. peaceKEEPER verse. in the midst of beatings, starvation, and hate-filled environments, betsie ten boom announced she felt sorry for the concentration camp guards/tormentors; she was filled with sorrow because they were filled with hate, not with love. she was always encouraging her sister (corrie ten boom) to seek Jesus, ask for His help, feel sorrow instead of anger and bitterness when assaulted and cursed at. upon reading those powerful stories, i had to offer up my heart, feelings, and emotions. i had to offer up my offendable spirit. 

"for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to those of us who are being saved, it is the power of God" --1 corinthians 1:18. 

of course they do not "get it"! of course it is foolishness to them! the secret of love, hope, and joy has not yet been revealed to them! we should weep for them, not because of what they say!-but because they are not yet able to feel this kind of love and joy! i find myself here now. thanking Him for the wonders of His word He has chosen to reveal to my heart, and praying that He would have mercy and reveal those same wonders to the hearts of others. 

how can i be a peaceMAKER to someone who called my daughter a punishment?! 

i can wait. i can wait until the Spirit moves, and then i can show love. i can show the blessing that she is. i can show the blessing this adoption is. i can show how He whispers His love to us through her. i can show HIM! because it's not about me. we are walking embodiments of His Word. we carry it in our hearts and it lights our way. oh, please! let asking for His help become as natural as breathing. LET US NO LONGER BE ABLE TO TELL WHERE HE ENDS AND I BEGIN! 

let us etch His word upon our heart so that there is no room for bitterness and offense in it, only love. 

proverbs 7:1-4

My son, keep my words
And treasure my commandments within you.
2 Keep my commandments and live,
And my teaching as the apple of your eye.
3 Bind them on your fingers;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
And call understanding your intimate friend

*paperwork update: home study has been sent to our agency and government people for approval. next step is this super expensive biometric fingerprinting. after that, we'll get an approval that we are not bad people. we then add this official "you're not bad/crazy people" certificate to our dossier (dos-e-a) packet, get all of it notarized, something else stamp, something else stamp, and then send all of that off to the chinese consulate people. then all we have to do is wait.