the story: and sweetie makes 3

the hubs and i had both said "we're done" adopting. we clawed our way to this point:
fighting battles with the kiddos--battles they were and are way too young to be expected to fight themselves. we shed many tears of desperation and we shed tears of joy, we pounded our fist in anger at what their souls endured before coming home and we pounded our fist in triumph as they emerged through valleys and forrest to find healing.

we threw around the idea of a biological, and i was already eyeing cute tula carrier, cloth diapers, reading up on vaccine schedules, not circumcising, and nursing. the Ls asked us quiet often if we were going to have a "belly baby".  we told our parents that we were starting to try for a biological, and a few friends. i even bought one of those handy-dandy ovulation test kits.
(side note: fertility has never been an issue for us, we just both knew we wanted to adopt to build our family; we talked about adopting on our first date even!)

we are planners, and were planning our lives: us, the 2 Ls, and any biological that may come along. it involved the hubs retiring at a certain age and us exploring after that; exploring is one of our favorite things to do together (besides eat, yummm).

then, i (mama) saw a picture--a picture of a girl who i knew God wanted to make my daughter. a girl i knew was going to be lucy's sister; i knew they would be painting their nails together, making bracelets together, and sharing their love of art together. a sweet girl i knew would be the perfect spunky-yet-laid-back sister for luke.

it seemed so very loud and obvious to me. but not to the hubs.

he was dead-set against it. "NO."
and he wasn't budging.

i grieved, hard.
i mourned for days.
someone was not hearing form God accurately, but we were both convinced our instincts were right on.

i was texting a fellow mom friend who also built her family bigger through adoption about her experience. for her family's most recent adoption, her husband was also initially not on board, and while she was offering encouragement, my husband began asking me about sweetie's diagnoses: "what does XXX mean?" "what is YYY?".
was he really considering this now?!!!

i had already requested her file "just in case", and was moved to tears when i saw we shared the same birthday.

since i am a stay at home mom now, and our income is less than it was when we brought the Ls home last year, we really had to make sure this was "doable" for us.
the hubs had said "its all going to have to line up perfectly for it to work out". and, wow, did it!

she is in the city/province in her country that means we will have no in-country travel, she had an older child grant available through the most amazing reece's rainbow...she even had an agency grant as well! God had already began laying the ground work!

y'all, God lined up so much of this, so perfectly, for us to play a role in this redemption.
the Ls are so very excited, they pray for her every night and ask when we are bringing her home (several times a day :)).

we're all learning sign language to prepare for her coming home, and one of the biggest heart blessings is seeing the Ls so excited to do this for her, to learn sign language so they can communicate with her. talk about a weeping-with-joy-mama-heart!

we'll be able to share her precious picture soon, and set up a fundraiser account soon, as we need to raise 10K to be able to have all needs and fees met, but God provided so beautifully last time, we are actually excited to have the Ls home and see Him provide to bring their sister home.

we've been crafting and finding items to ebay, and oh, the joy on their precious faces when i tell them we made money toward bringing their sister home!

we can't wait to share this journey with you all, and the sweet pictures we have of her!

in the meantime, i've set up a t-shirt fundraiser--nothing to do with adoption or love (unless you count the love of tacos!)  here (because it seems like an appropriate shirt for this time of year too :))
tacos for president t-shirt fundraser! 

and here's a few pictures of the kiddos and me showing how photogenic we are :)

and this one, because she's always the cutest! <3

yay!

progress and the light

:cue dancing clowns and other scary things that are supposed to be happy:

i know he's a legend, but, c'mon, mimes are just clowns who don't talk (because they're too busy plotting!)

the C3 (CCCWA) (governmental office in china that oversees the adoptions) *finally* was able to pair our luke-dude's file with our lucy-girl's. this means that we had a 23+ day "log in date" (lucy's was 2 days if that let's you know about the delay).  but, never fear! madison is here! our agency is amazing as i mentioned in a previous post and was there to ensure it was resolved. luke-dude's full file was loaded into the system on 3/25 (after being received on 3/2). that didn't bode well in my little heart for the timeline I wanted.  i wanted so badly to at least be on a plane on my way to them by mother's day. when reality hit and i knew that would not be possible, i had a slight meltdown. maybe i ate a few cookies and drank a soda or two.  but i most certainly did not spend an obscene amount of money on them buying tea collection clothes off zulily. nope. nope. we couldn't afford that. sure glad i didn't....

despite my fleshly emotions and hurt, i know He is sovereign and i know He has all their days--i can rest in that. not because of anything i can do or say or pray or proclaim, but because the fact that He is good and faithful.  when the storms rage, and i just want to tuck my little head between my knees and not look up until it's all over, i return to this:

right now we are are at the "matched" step in the system--which means they FLEW through his approval, and we should have the coveted LOA in hand by the end of this week.

once our agency receives the LOA certificate from china, they will scan it to us, and we can use that to fill out his i800 (needed for his immigration). once we fill that out and send in a sizable check, we will receive a provisional approval and with that we can file his DS260 (to get his visa).  then we can go get him and lucy!
--since lucy was already at the visa step once we added him on, her visa is ready to be dropped off in china. our agency is having this done on april 9th--and then within a few days of that, we will have travel approval FOR HER. once we get travel approval for her, and have him caught up in process, we can roll his travel into our approval for hers.

our agency still tells us to expect travel by the end of may. yay!

oh, but check out these precious pictures of him as an itty-bitty! oh, my heart just swoons! <3

and yay for travel during summer in china! i hear the weather is just lovely  :)

(and really, i'm kinda glad i didn't bring them home earlier into this horribly cold and icy winter we've had. now that, that would be traumatizing!)

if all else fails and disappointment abounds--when my head is tucked in between my knees and tears stream down my face, then i will lift my tearful eyes up because i know He is faithful, and there is nothing i'd rather gaze upon with tears in my eyes than Him. 

oysters and george michael

like george michael once sang:
gotta have faith...
sure we're talking about two different things, but it you take those three words out of context they apply beautifully to our situation.

back in december we submitted what is called a supplement 3 to our i800a approval. this request a change in approval for number of children, age, gender, etc. 

we were told by our home study social worker there was no fee associated with this, so we mailed it in. 2 and half weeks passed and we received the dreaded pink paper in the mail known as an RFE (request for information). this is sent when more information, material, etc is needed to process the application. we were told there was a $360 fee due for a supp 3, and the approval could not be issued until that was received. and we could not pay it over the phone. 

i'm about to get raw. raw like this tray of oysters. 

i was livid. any virtue left me and i was in a state between crying myself into a puddle in the floor and  wanting to punch something. not really. but kind of. 

i felt like a horrible mother, i should have sent in a blank check just in case. i should have called ahead. i should have....

so much. 

the whole process just became delayed ANOTHER month, because once we sent in the check, it still would take 10 days for them to clear it and process our approval. two weeks ago, we overnighted it and paid $45 to guarantee it would be there by 10:30 a.m. the check cleared a few days ago, so now, we are just waiting....waiting...praying...praying for time

this is a screen shot of george singing praying for time. i call him only george because i believe we are on a first name basis.

once we receive the approval in the mail, the hubs can use his day off to run around town and get it, and a few other things notarized, certified, and authenticated. it's a crazy process: see this post

then, we pay for overnight delivery by 10:30 a.m. again and it is deliver by a man riding a unicorn, sliding down rainbow, playing the kazoo. (our adoption worker assured me this is how it was delivered last time we paid that much for an early next day delivery). 

i know our Father has no ill will upon our children. i know He loves them more. i know that everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen has passed by His Sovereign hands. i know He know the exact minute we will become a family and be together for the first time. 

even though i cannot necessarily trust in any person, organization, office, i can trust in Him. 

He's big enough to cover misinformation of fees due, and delays, and waiting; He's Holy and Loving enough to bring us together in perfect timing. 

the blessing of it all: they are in a loving environment. "one of the good ones".

january 18th was our sweet lucy-girl's 11th birthday. so, we threw her a party, from several 1,000 miles away. we also threw a party for our little dude letting him know he would be our son too. 

here's some pictures of the spectacular occasion:

right before i published this, my hubs texted me to let me know our USCIS officer notified him it was approved on the 26th and mailed out--we should have it by today or tomorrow. hope he's ready for another rat race!