a long overdue update

Wow! I can't can believe it's been 3 months since I've updated.  Life is busy. You parents who update daily or even weekly amaze me. I can't even get my brain to function before noon, and by then it's time to pick the kids back up (almost).  I'll try to be coherent and make sense. :)

this is a laugh--a laugh during prayer. it's okay, we allow it, it's biblical even "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 corinthians 3:17) 

 This photo progressed like this, with a surprise from behind attack-turned-peace sign with brother:

We now live outside Atlanta, and the kiddos loved being a part of the move. They were able to set up their new bedrooms, pick out their bed sets and show us how they wanted their furniture arranged.

School started super early down here: August 3rd!  These awesome kiddos had been in the states barely a month when they began attending school. The teachers at their school are amazing, and it happens that Lucy is in a "super class" (it's like a class and a half with 2 teachers), and in her "super class" there are two sisters who speak Mandarin! This has been so helpful for her adjustment of course, but also for her teachers, who when in a bind, have these other sweet girls who are so happy to help and translate.

Their English language acquisition has absolutely boomed! We are home a little over 3 months, and for the most part, communication is good. We only use the translation app if there is a new concept/words we are using, or if we are trying to explain something that requires more than piecing together basic words they have.

Their personalities continue to shine, and they become more confident in who they are and their identity strengthens each week.

They continue to trust us more and more, and they continue to attach and bond as sons and daughters more and more. We had a huge break through last night when they both shared some really heavy things. It was one of those occurrences where their vulnerability, trust, and sharing led us well past their bedtime without notice--when your children are pouring their hearts out and baring themselves and that level of vulnerability, you let it flow as long as it needs to.

The dude is enrolled in Taekwondo classes and the lovely does an extra-curricular art class after school each week.

They each love to take the dogs for walks with me, and the dude loves putting them up in their crates each night (which is quiet the comical site since each dog is bigger than he is!).

It seems as if we have settled into our little family routine, and it couldn't be sweeter.

We eagerly await the coming holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and finishing out birthdays (we just celebrated the dude's at Chuck E Cheese).


And two pictures that pretty perfectly capture our family.  :)

the sweet girl

the moment we met was quiet honestly, awkward, as meeting your ("older") child for the first time throughout the process of adoption is for most i would assume. she smiled sweetly in the doorway--eyes hidden behind her novelty sunglasses. she wore a fancy dress with a ribbon tie and sheer overlay, a floral pattern underneath. her hair pulled into a the familiar ponytail we have seen in all her pictures. 

she greeted us with a smile and gently came into our embrace. she is 85% gentle and silly spirit and 15% put brother in his place serious.  

we feel she's picked up an impressive amount of receptive english language--that or she infers what we are trying to tell her and brother and she then, with great "confidence and conviction" tells him in mandarin. 

the hotel we stayed at while in hefei had a nice heated indoor pool and hot tub.  the little dude was weary of the pool but LOVED the hot tub. xinhua was quiet the opposite--she didn't care for the hot tub at all, but loved the pool. she even held onto her daddy's back and let him walk her around the pool. this seemed like the most frightening thing in the world to the dude, so he hung on the sidelines. 

the second night together, we split the kiddos and xinhua and i stayed in one room and the dude and daddy stayed in the other (momma HAD to sleep). (the first night was full of excited, noisy, and active chaos as described in the previous post).

a storm came through--lightening and thunder, bangs and crashes, downpours and waterfall like rain washing over our hotel room window. sweet girl became afraid and got up to turn on the light. after she got back in bed she whimpered "momma" and held my hand and feel back asleep. 

the next day was uneventful aside from walking around the small shopping area near our hotel. xinhua was more quiet this day and we allowed her to be and to have her space--we were just happy to be in the same room as her while she played on her kindle. that night as we laid in bed my sweet girl started to cry. she sat straight up and began wailing. i thought at first she had an earache from swimming in the pool for 3 days, as she had grabbed her ear and cried and screamed. we walked next door and got baba (daddy) and the dude to come back over and called our in-province guide to ask her to talk to xinhua and find out what was upsetting her. sweet girl told her that she missed her foster mother; so we helped her call her. the foster mother reassured her she was loved madly by both herself and me, and we relayed through our guide that xinhua could call and write her foster mother whenever she needed. 

to me, it's not a competition for love. i cannot deny the incredible role her foster mother played in her life for 8 years. i cannot and will not demand she forget the bond and trust she had with this woman and exchange it for instant and unwavering allegiance to me. that will come with time. trust, love, and belonging comes with time and cannot be forced, or faked. 

since that night she's had her quiet moments (i'd be more worried if she didn't) and her moments of frustration with little brother (but honestly, he's a feisty dude), but honestly, she's been more than resilient. i believe she is strong because she has to be:
when we had returned to the states, we were to move a week later, so life was still not going to "settle". two days before the moving company was to arrive, the hubs had to drive down to atlanta to close on our new house--the kiddos and i stayed "home".  we went to the pool, had junk food, and lots of fun. the next day, i had to drive down to atlanta due to a snafu with the schedule for our power, water, cable, internet, everything! to be turned on. (this put me driving down to atlanta and back up on the same day, the day before we moved!). the hubs stayed "home" with the kiddos.  i ended up not having a quick turn around trip, and on my way back the hubs called and said luke had been upset for a while and wanted to know when i was going to be home. oh, trust me, i had wanted to be home HOURS ago! i asked about sweet lucy, and he said she was doing great and even trying to calm him down. 

when i finally arrived back, they were in bed, so i went up stairs to kiss them goodnight and show them i was indeed back home. luke was good and gave me a big hug and kiss. lucy, who had been great all day, and even helping "baba" (daddy) with luke, immediately said "mama", and the tears came. she cupped her hands in front of her face and sobbed as she hugged me. i don't have to state the obvious, but i will: my heart sank. my sweet girl, strong for everyone, until she didn't have to be.

she was known as the "helper" in her orphanage. her nanny/foster mother's right hand girlie. she is here too. she folds laundry with me, better than i do, she helps wash dishes, she helps serve food, she-helps. she has such a servant heart. 

we are homeschooling as much as we can for now--lots of ground to cover. she has made incredible strides, and continues to impress us with her desire to learn. on her own, one day last week, she brought us a piece of paper where she had written out the englsih alphabet in upper AND lower case letters. she's become very fond of math lately, and every little milestone is a great celebration. no progress is too slight to escape notice and jubilee. 

we received the greatest treasure ANY adoptive parent could when we met them in china---HUNDREDS of photos of her (and also of her brother, but his post is next...) from her time with her orphanage/foster group.  y'all, Half the Sky really is all about the children. i cannot describe the overwhelming feeling of joy that i have hundreds of pictures of her from her young toddler years to current. most families have only pictures that came with updates--we have developmental milestone, memories, activities, etc. recorded--in photos! 

until i can scan some of those and share them, here's a few of our sweet lucy-girl: 

feeding koi :)

meeting birdie for the first time! :)

she loves gnarls barkley too (the dog, hasn't heard the rapper yet!)

childhood complete: merry-go-round! 

call her dr. doo-lucy! 

everyone loves stello!

first time on a trampoline!

COMING UP: ALL ABOUT THE DUDE (Luke)

because it matters to this one

this is "clarice"

isn't she precious. oh, and her smile--it could light up a room from a hundred thousand miles away. she has such a beautiful soul, such a joy, such a light in her eyes. so much hope CAN lie ahead for her. all she needs is a family; but, her time is running out. :( 

when she turns 16 in july, she will no longer be adoptable. 

poof! her chance of every having a family, a safe environment to live and grow in, to experience love and a mother's touch and embrace--gone. she will be transferred to an "institution" where on average, children live less than a year once there. the neglect is unimaginable, and it takes it's toll--on these precious soul's.  

but, there's hope for her. YOU. you are her hope. 

there are so many loving families whose only hinderance to adopting is money. the average adoption (depending on the country) total fees span from $22,000 to $38,000; but, this is what makes Reece's Rainbow so amazing! the most vulnerable and most over-looked children are given a better chance of finding a family because the financial burden is eliminated, or at least lifted.  clarice has over $21,000 in her grant. that means her adoption is PAID FOR! the only fees a family would need to front would be their home study (or home study update) and USCIS fees, these are minimal, and likely from $2,000-$3000. and honestly, if a family committed to clarice and had to begin the process form scratch, they could set up a gofundme account and have a community (including my husband and i) rally around them to even help with that small amount. 

that seems so soon--july! but, there is enough time! luckily, only certain paperwork needs to be filed for her before her 16th birthday--you don't actually have to be in country picking her up by her 16th birthday, so, it is VERY feasible to give her the promise of a family in time! 

you can read more about her by clicking at the end of this post. if you would like more information on the process of adopting sweet clarice, contact debbie@reecesrainbow.org.

even if you cannot pursue her adoption, please share this post, so that someone may see it and they would be her forever mommy and daddy! we cannot let her light slip away, she has too much hope within her. 

***unfortunately, this is one of the few countries/areas single women cannot adopt from, but they are open to older parents (empty nesters!) and large families. :) 

clarice's grant page