time is on my side

i used to love that song, but then that creepy movie with denzel washington came out, and this song played throughout it...now, every time i hear this song i see that little cat prancing off through the woods at the end.  "time is on my side, yes it is"...:demon cat jaunts off:

this post isn't about that movie though. it's about time. and it's about His plans. and me pretending i'm stronger than i am.

when we started this process, we *knew* we'd for sure be home before lucy-girl's 11th birthday in January...and then we found out about our awesome luke-dude and changed gears so we could bring them home together. you can read about that here if you are new.

there have been several bumps along the road, a "few" melt-downs, and thus, A LOT of snuggling with this fathead:

we are finally a mere day, two days away from luke's TA. (we hope...)
--we had been under the impression, because of the information relayed to us, that we would likely be able to have family day on may 18th....and then that didn't happen. it really, really, really looks like we will have family day on june 15th, but then again, it could be june 22 since nothing in our timeline has actually worked out like it "was supposed to".

in seasons of despair, there are really two choices for me (and all believers): draw nearer to God and listen and rest while you grow in your trust of Him; or question, becoming bitter, and distant in the closeness you once dwelt in.

He is not the one who moves away from us, He is not the one who drops His arms to His side, He is not the one who changes his desire to speak to us.
--We are the ones who turn our backs and walk off on our own, we are the ones who cross our arms in front of our chest, we are the ones who decide what it is we will hear that will "pull us out of it".

in reflection, He proves that each "delay" has been only for our blessing:

* when our home study wasn't sent for approval to our agency, and thus to the government for our i800A approval, for  WELL over a month, that delayed us at least 6 weeks--but it was that 6 week delay which gave us that extra period of time for our agency to be in China and find out about our little awesome luke-dude and allow us to add him on and bring them home at the same time

* it was that same delay, that then turned into a 4 month+ delay to bring lucy home that allowed us to be gifted with a completely unexpected financial grant

* we also hit another delay at the beginning of the process to add luke on when we were told no fee was due for our supplement 3 on our i800A approval (which approved us to adopt two), and turns out, there was a fee due--this delayed us 3+weeks (to receive the RFE (missing fee notice)) and then mail in a check and have it wait 10 days to clear (government policy) (after it had already sat for 10+days the first time)--but this delay allowed us to be at just the right point to receive yet another unexpected last minute grant we were submitted for.

* all these delays put my leaving date later for my job at the time, which allowed me to receive a small raise for my last bit of time there

these delays have forced me to cry out, reach out, step out of my comfort zone and in turn, develop some incredibly blessed friendships with other mommas walking this same path.

this extra time has also given me time to sit in His presence, and painful as it is, allow Him to prune my heart. in the stress of this process, you often neglect your spiritual health, letting your guard down and allowing thorns to grow up in your heart--surrounding the good things He has planted.

please join us in prayer, that luke's TA would come soon (we've had lucy-girl's for a while) (and that plane tickets don't skyrocket even more--summer is an expensive time to travel to China!)



*i can't even imagine what it will be like when our children are finally home!!!--i'm so used to this fathead being my only sight (he's a total free-loader, all he does is lay around!), oh, the joy to finally be able to look up and see them too!

i can hear their footsteps

two days ago we sent luke's documents off to immigration--wahooooo!

percy the wonder cat is guarding the documents until we can get to ups.

he did a mighty fine job of guarding them and is seeing them off now

they were delivered at 9:30 the next morning--when you are in the final stages of brining your little home, hours mean EVERYTHING to you!

his package will sit in a "lock box" for 10 days while the check for $720 clears (the fees paid to the department of homeland security for the processing of immigration paperwork). after that, our immigration officer will review it and issue a provisional approval. once we receive that, we can fill out another form for his visa. once we do this and receive the confirmation email,  we send it to our agency who forwards it to their contact in china. shortly after this, we will receive travel approval (TA). 

our agency worker is sure we will be with our children on the 18th of May---the 18th of May!!!!!! that means we'd be leaving on the 15th. leaving on a jet plane. like rocket man: except not depressing. 

i'm pretty sure there is a way to work ALL of sir elton john's songs into these blog posts. :) 

right now, it seems surreal to me. we've been in the process to bring lucy-girl home for over a year now, and though we've only been in process to bring the dude (luke) home since december it still seems as if it's been forever. every week without them is a week our home is not complete, and a week two precious pieces of my heart are missing. i can hear their footsteps now. i can hear them running up the stairs and i can hear the ruckus of their playing on the floor above us. i can hear them giggle as they feed bird-catcher mcfuzzy paws (birdie) waaaaaay too many treats. i can hear them laugh as they watch gnarls roll onto his back to avoid having to go "home" (his crate) at night. it all is so vivid in my mind now. a very probably date will do that to you. <3

she won't complain though

he's mastered the pitiful "feel sorry for me" look  :)

once we arrive home, luke will require surgery to correct some physical issues. we and the doctors agree it will be best to do the two corrections at the same time to limit his exposure to anesthesia. please join us in prayer for this--that he will understand the pain of the procedures will only be temporary and it is for his best life we are doing this. they really are necessary, and are most certainly not merely "cosmetic-preferred".

lucy is fine as far as we know and will require no immediate medical intervention, aside from a visit to a pediatric cardiologist to check the condition of her repaired hear and then subsequent yearly follow up visits. :) 

when i first meet people and the adoption comes up, the initial reactions are usually "oh, how sweet! so precious, how old are they?" and when i explain they are 8 and 11, the following responses are often of bewilderment and forced excitement. quite a few strangers really don't know how to react to hearing of an older child adoption. however, there are some amazing friends and internet friends that share in the uncontainable joyous excitement we have. i love what a dearly sweet friend said: "rather 8 months and 11 months or 8 years and 11 years, it's worth celebrating!" we agree!  we've been asked by a few people if we've registered anywhere--we hadn't, but we do need plenty to prepare our home for them! we've put together this little registry, as we haven't had 8 and 11 years to build up their rooms, lives, possession and whatnots. :)  

lucy-girl and luke-dude's registry :) 

lucy-girl and luke-dude would love anything you would like to send! 

(stores don't have adoption registries, so it is listed as a baby registry with due date of May 15th (when we expect to travel :)). 

thank you for sharing in this joy with us! we can't wait to have pictures of us all together to share!

the joy of the struggle (and how dog farts help me to not take ugly comments seriously)

once upon a time i lived in uganda. i did things like teach sunday school lessons, fed 150 village kids every saturday and sunday, wrote newsletters to supporters of this village ministry, and one time i had "the" talk (aka for those who don't know of what 'the' in :quotes: translates to = sex) with about 50 young girls....it was pretty awkward. since most my life had been spent hanging out with and teaching 3 year olds, i had to remind myself that "wee-wee" and "little girl area" were not the terms i needed to use with 9-15 year old girls (although i once had a 4 year old who somehow learned to call her little girl area her "kitty"--seriously "mom", you couldn't think of another 4 year old appropriate euphemism than "kitty" for her little girl area?)
moving on to...dog farts (seriously, it's coming, just keep reading, and it's all related to adoption, i promise).

anyhow, upon my return, i was visiting family, and i found myself in conversation with a jerk. a prideful jerk--though, that's kind of a redundant description because i have never met a humble jerk (the adoption part really is coming). we were talking about why i've done what i've done over my life: teach older students with severe emotional/behavioral disorders, travel to afghanistan about a year after 9/11 to teach in newly gender-intergrated classrooms, humanitarian work in ethiopia and burma, and recently a short trip to rwanda and a 5 month stay in uganda. i was talking about how "from whom much is given, much is expected" and i felt that my soul could have easily been born in a body in an impoverished country or under the rule of a faction that gives no value to women, but since my soul was blessed to have been born in a body ("you don't have soul, you are a soul, you have a body"--c.s. lewis) in america, my body should take itself to other lands to help those souls in those bodies. at the end of our conversation, he asked me (not out of curiosity, but out of indignant hateful judgement): "in all you've done, haven't you found that there are some people that are not worth saving". :jaw hits the floor and fist clinch: (i kind of wanted to retort back, "yeah, you" but Jesus hovered over me and put His hand over my mouth, He's cool like that).

here's the thing: some people don't understand love. there are three types of love:
storge: what you have for your family
eros: love you have for, well, your lover
philia: brotherly love, as in what christians have toward each other
agape: the highest form of love, the love Christ showed toward us, and commands us to show toward all (agape is sacrificial, open, non-judging, non-offensive...you know, just look at the fruits of the spirit, agape produces those).

i've been asked by people:
* "why are you adopting?" (judgmentally, not really wanting to know our story)
* "why's you not adopting from 'murica? kidz heres need a's family too!" (crushes can on head) (kidding, but i like to tell stories in hyperbole) (and yes, absolutely! children in the foster system need families too! and we will do that, later :))
* "why are you adopting a child with special needs, why do you want to punish yourself for the rest of your life? you'll never be able to go to the beach and have fun again, you'll never...." (yes, that is the most important part of life, having fun at the beach...)
* ...so on

there's also trolls:

except the ones i'm talking about probably don't look like that....though i'd like to imagine they have really crazy hair and big eyes, because it makes what they write more humorous (when you can decipher it, often it's filled with really poor grammar...)
"trolls" like to send what they deem as nasty messages to you through your blog or leave comments (i moderate comments so i don't publish them....i refuse to publish comments with poor grammar).  they seem to have an issue with families fundraising (i think that's what they are trying to say...).  i did once, as a child, bury $30,000 in a tin can with my brother's micro machine car and my friend's favorite hello kitty neckalce-but i seem to have forgotten where i buried the $30,000, otherwise we'd totally dig it up right now and use it to fund our adoption.

see, here's the thing about all these fundraisers you all see--the joy is in the giving, the joy is in the story, the joy is in the faith that He will provide through His body, because we have AGAPE love for each other. oh, ye of little faith that need it to be easy! i LOVE learning to trust in HIM. i love seeing Him provide through my brothers and sisters in Christ, it's our way of telling each other, "hey! we're all family! bloodlines mean nothing! WE ARE ALL IN HIS BLOODLINE!" if all these families already had $30,000 + for their adoptions, then when other areas of life got rough, they'd be starting out so weak, and have to learn to trust from that point--but if in this process, we see Him provide through the silliest of ways, and the most humble of our brothers and sisters in Christ, then how much more do we learn to trust in HIS WAYS! how much more can we feel that He is there with us, with our other adoptive community. i don't understand what all the "use your money" stuff is about anyway...it's not "our money" and your money isn't even "your money"...it's His money, He has entrusted us to steward it! the hubs and i continue to support our kids through gospel for asia, we continue to support a mission family in uganda, we continue to support other adoptive families...because we know it's not our money. we receive so much joy from giving to others, and others who give, receive joy as well.

so, (here comes the dog fart part from earlier) when jerks say ugly things about missions and humanitarian work, and trolls with colorful pink hair that sticks straight up and with big eyes say unkind things (i think it was supposed to be unkind...) i don't sweat it, and you please don't sweat it either, you have the joy! they are missing the joy. besides, i have more important things to worry about, like why my dog's farts stink so bad. seriously, this guy can clear a room, wake you up from a dead sleep...he's actually had such bad smelling gas before that he's looked around to see "who did it" and then left the room. this is my pressing concern right now...dog farts. :)