she assures me

she assures me that you are taken care of, and that the long process ensures no one has hurt you before.

i dreamt about you last night.  i dreamt your face lit up when we met, because you knew i was your forever mommy. i dreamt that we made a countdown chain for you to use after we left from our first visit until we reunited for "gotcha day".  i dreamt i rubbed your sweet head, and prayed with you at bedtime. i dreamt our Heavenly Father smiled over you, as He pointed to His Word, knowing that His words never fail: "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you"--john 14:18; "He places the lonely in families"--psalm 68:6.

your daddy dreamt about you too.  he dreamt i brought you to visit him at work, and his employees gathered around you and shed tears of joy; your daddy dreamt that your homecoming led them to our Heavenly Father, and that your joy was a message of the strength He provides.

hold on dear daughter, His plans for you are already changing lives.

we love you.

i met you in my dream

a few years ago i dreamt you came home with me, in your wheelchair, with your sweet dark hair lay somewhat wavy on your precious head. my mom (your nana) was crying tears of joy to meet you.  she was afraid to touch your delicate, fragile hand, but she did and you smiled.

now, years later, as i was looking over the sweet names and faces of an adoption advocacy site for special needs children, i saw you.  you weren't just in my dreams, you were really designed, created, and knit in your birth mommy's womb by the hands of God.


sweet girl, you brought tears to my eyes for days, until i could talk to my husband, the man i hoped would be able to be your daddy, and he agreed we should pursue you, begin the process to bring you home. it turns out, you actually already have a family coming for you.


...i pray you feel the sincerity of love from your new family.
i pray He multiplies your love and blessings for the years spent without.

i hope they dreamt about your sweet face too.

but you were our beacon--as my husband put it, our "guide" to show us now was the time to begin the process to bring another child, with special needs, looked over for so many years, home.


we will.  for our first anniversary gift to each other, we will sign on with an incredible agency to bring a dear one home. an older girl, with special needs, who has seen so many younger ones, so many healthy ones, go to their forever families, while she waited.

dear sweet beautiful girl, i don't know who you are yet, but we're coming for you. and we love you.
my heart aches to meet you, my hands to comfort you and pray over you, and my lips to cover your sweet face in kisses.

i love you, before i even know you.