Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts

Monday, April 6, 2015

progress and the light

:cue dancing clowns and other scary things that are supposed to be happy:


i know he's a legend, but, c'mon, mimes are just clowns who don't talk (because they're too busy plotting!)

the C3 (CCCWA) (governmental office in china that oversees the adoptions) *finally* was able to pair our luke-dude's file with our lucy-girl's. this means that we had a 23+ day "log in date" (lucy's was 2 days if that let's you know about the delay).  but, never fear! madison is here! our agency is amazing as i mentioned in a previous post and was there to ensure it was resolved. luke-dude's full file was loaded into the system on 3/25 (after being received on 3/2). that didn't bode well in my little heart for the timeline I wanted.  i wanted so badly to at least be on a plane on my way to them by mother's day. when reality hit and i knew that would not be possible, i had a slight meltdown. maybe i ate a few cookies and drank a soda or two.  but i most certainly did not spend an obscene amount of money on them buying tea collection clothes off zulily. nope. nope. we couldn't afford that. sure glad i didn't....

despite my fleshly emotions and hurt, i know He is sovereign and i know He has all their days--i can rest in that. not because of anything i can do or say or pray or proclaim, but because the fact that He is good and faithful.  when the storms rage, and i just want to tuck my little head between my knees and not look up until it's all over, i return to this:



right now we are are at the "matched" step in the system--which means they FLEW through his approval, and we should have the coveted LOA in hand by the end of this week.

once our agency receives the LOA certificate from china, they will scan it to us, and we can use that to fill out his i800 (needed for his immigration). once we fill that out and send in a sizable check, we will receive a provisional approval and with that we can file his DS260 (to get his visa).  then we can go get him and lucy!
--since lucy was already at the visa step once we added him on, her visa is ready to be dropped off in china. our agency is having this done on april 9th--and then within a few days of that, we will have travel approval FOR HER. once we get travel approval for her, and have him caught up in process, we can roll his travel into our approval for hers.

our agency still tells us to expect travel by the end of may. yay!

oh, but check out these precious pictures of him as an itty-bitty! oh, my heart just swoons! <3



and yay for travel during summer in china! i hear the weather is just lovely  :)

(and really, i'm kinda glad i didn't bring them home earlier into this horribly cold and icy winter we've had. now that, that would be traumatizing!)

if all else fails and disappointment abounds--when my head is tucked in between my knees and tears stream down my face, then i will lift my tearful eyes up because i know He is faithful, and there is nothing i'd rather gaze upon with tears in my eyes than Him. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

footie pajamas, gideon, and perry the panda

why am i wearing footie pajamas, covered up with my soft christmas blanket, and sipping hot cider--instead of being out with our bible study peeps eating yummy, delicious, perfect, tennessee-mexican food?
because we received our official rejection letter from show hope. and i just wanted to sulk with my cat (take note that he is part unicorn--that magical little tuft of hair coming to a perfect point proves his wondrousness)

in the mailbox today was another issue of my (free!) subscription to "everyday with rachel ray" (i really just love her!), a bill (yuck!), and advertisement for a christmas sale (no christmas for you this year!), and a thin envelope with the show hope return label on it. i shrugged and tossed it on the counter, calling the dh (dear hubs) to let him know we received our rejection letter. he came home and opened it so i wouldn't have to. 

it's okay. it really is. us not receiving a grant means another family did, and i'm so happy for those families that received letters listing the amount of grant they've been blessed with. 

but, still i sit here, much like gideon when he hid in the winepress threshing wheat (judges 6). except i'm wearing footie pajamas, and i'm pretty sure he was wearing something akin to a ephod (male dress). also, i have a unicorn cat, and that makes many things more bearable. 

people often mistake the amount of courage i have, when really, i'm quite cowardice. 
one of my most beloved friends was telling me about a recent experience while she was grocery shopping: 
she overheard some individuals bemoaning the fact that amendment 1 passed ("yes on 1" in tennessee..google it), and felt an urging to stand up for her faith that values the sanctity of life (and the honor of her two precious daughters whom she adopted-and is grateful their birthmother chose life for).  they didn't receive her input well and argued back, and then another guy came up and was frankly, quite ugly in his differing opinion of hers. she didn't cower, or back down, she didn't drop her head and shuffle away, she was strong. 
i told her i admired her strength, that i would never be able to do something like that, and she seemed surprised, thinking i was bolder than i actually am. 
she seemed surprised that i would be to timid, cowardice, etc to approach someone and defend my faith/belief. 

proverbs 28:1 states "the wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous have faith bold as lions"
we often quote the last part "the righteous have faith bold as lions" but we hardly ever give any nod to the beginning: "the wicked flee when no one pursues".

in times such as this: rejection, we can choose to hide in a winepresses, (even though we are not being attacked), or we can stand strong as lions because our faith sees past present circumstance.

God not saying "yes" is not the same thing as us being attacked. God saying "yes" to someone else is NOT Him saying "no" to us. far too often, we tend to hyper-spiritualize everything, and in doing so, we make ourselves victims, when in reality, He will provide in a different way. we can't be a victim when we can trace even one point in the process Him having His hand upon us.

and, like Gideon rising up and emerging from the winepress, i poke my little head out (tomorrow morning...it's too cold right now!) and look for His hand in all the other places it is.

oh! also: perry the panda is helping us in all things until lucy-girl is home: #lucygirlspandaproxy
(follow us on instagram to see perry helping us next for lucy-girl   http://instagram.com/carmenmichelle

enjoying sick people tea with perry

perry is trying to decide which reading teepee lucy would like the best

perry is making sure we don't goof around--setting up lucy-girl's bedroom is serious business 

perry approves of the lovely drawer pulls mommy picked out for lucy-girl's room


perry is napping on the pretty new lavender sheets in lucy-grils room