my thoughts have been meandering through the forrest of adoption pains and sorrows lately.
here are a few things you should know:
*it is not okay to ask us if we are "sure we can handle a special needs child"
would you ask a pregnant woman who was told her baby would have birth defects if she was sure she wanted to keep it? no, no you wouldn't. there is no difference. she is our daughter. we will continue to work to bring her home.
*it is not okay to tell us "you cannot save them all"
what is my response supposed to be, "oh, good point, let them wither and die then"? no. it doesn't matter if we can't "save them all"--we can be her mommy and daddy, and that will change HER world. that's what matters.
*do not tell us "you don't know what she's gone through, i mean, what if she really has a lot of problems?"
she is the one who has been hurt and abandoned. i'm really glad this isn't the response Jesus had when His Father sent Him to us.
*do not ask "aren't you going to miss being able to take fun family vacations, going out with friends, having easy family dinners"
what is our response supposed to be? "yes, we know there is unimaginable suffering in our daughter's life, but gosh, the beach is really calling our name, let it be someone else's problem...." no. that will not be our response. i will probably say something ugly to you.
what we nee more than anything, is support, encouragement, and love.
we are about 9 months out from potentially being able to bring home our daughter. a pregnant woman can touch her belly and feel her baby move, sing to her baby, and nourish her baby in her womb--i can do none of this for my daughter. i cannot hold her yet, i cannot tell her i love her yet, i cannot do everything in my power to ensure she is healthy and safe yet.
i have a few pictures of my sweet girl, and two videos. other mommies can take 100 pictures a day if they wish and fix a cute little baby book. i will never have a picture of my sweet girl as a baby, i will never be able to save the paper where she first wrote her name, drew her first cat, dog, bird...i will never have those sentimental cards and picture she made at 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on. i was not there to hold her hand and kiss her forehead before she was taken into major surgery at the tender sweet age of 4. there is so much i have missed, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, THERE IS SO MUCH SHE HAS MISSED, and that SHATTERS MY HEART.
with so much weight that mommies and daddies carry through the course of adoption, even if you can't help financially, with words of spiritual counsel, or offer words from experience, then a smile, a hug, a prayer, or just telling us how beautiful she is means more than you know.
to summarize: if you wouldn't say it to a pregnant woman, don't say it to a mommy in the midst of adoption.
on an exciting and positive note: <3
--oh, and go check out the beautiful jewelry made by the beautiful women in ecuador, south africa, kenya, uganda, ethiopia, and vietnam. there are some really cute new spring color pieces in! enter "carmen preciado" in the order notes for a percentage to go toward our adoption! :)
johari creations
here are a few things you should know:
*it is not okay to ask us if we are "sure we can handle a special needs child"
would you ask a pregnant woman who was told her baby would have birth defects if she was sure she wanted to keep it? no, no you wouldn't. there is no difference. she is our daughter. we will continue to work to bring her home.
*it is not okay to tell us "you cannot save them all"
what is my response supposed to be, "oh, good point, let them wither and die then"? no. it doesn't matter if we can't "save them all"--we can be her mommy and daddy, and that will change HER world. that's what matters.
*do not tell us "you don't know what she's gone through, i mean, what if she really has a lot of problems?"
she is the one who has been hurt and abandoned. i'm really glad this isn't the response Jesus had when His Father sent Him to us.
*do not ask "aren't you going to miss being able to take fun family vacations, going out with friends, having easy family dinners"
what is our response supposed to be? "yes, we know there is unimaginable suffering in our daughter's life, but gosh, the beach is really calling our name, let it be someone else's problem...." no. that will not be our response. i will probably say something ugly to you.
what we nee more than anything, is support, encouragement, and love.
we are about 9 months out from potentially being able to bring home our daughter. a pregnant woman can touch her belly and feel her baby move, sing to her baby, and nourish her baby in her womb--i can do none of this for my daughter. i cannot hold her yet, i cannot tell her i love her yet, i cannot do everything in my power to ensure she is healthy and safe yet.
i have a few pictures of my sweet girl, and two videos. other mommies can take 100 pictures a day if they wish and fix a cute little baby book. i will never have a picture of my sweet girl as a baby, i will never be able to save the paper where she first wrote her name, drew her first cat, dog, bird...i will never have those sentimental cards and picture she made at 2, 3, 4, 5, and so on. i was not there to hold her hand and kiss her forehead before she was taken into major surgery at the tender sweet age of 4. there is so much i have missed, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, THERE IS SO MUCH SHE HAS MISSED, and that SHATTERS MY HEART.
with so much weight that mommies and daddies carry through the course of adoption, even if you can't help financially, with words of spiritual counsel, or offer words from experience, then a smile, a hug, a prayer, or just telling us how beautiful she is means more than you know.
to summarize: if you wouldn't say it to a pregnant woman, don't say it to a mommy in the midst of adoption.
on an exciting and positive note: <3
--oh, and go check out the beautiful jewelry made by the beautiful women in ecuador, south africa, kenya, uganda, ethiopia, and vietnam. there are some really cute new spring color pieces in! enter "carmen preciado" in the order notes for a percentage to go toward our adoption! :)
johari creations
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| this is where i always want to be: perched on His cross. |
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