Tuesday, January 14, 2014

you fill my dreams

i know your sweet face.

what i don't know is what you are feeling and what your heart believes. do you know you are loved? do you think you are forgotten? do you know you have hope, or do you believe your days will be hopeless? have you been told that you are created perfectly in His image? have you been told He loves you far more than an earthly father can. i don't know what you will feel or think when you are told we are coming for you.

despite how little i actually know, you fill my dreams.

i dreamt we brought you home. we had asked friends and family to greet us there and welcome you. we came down the stairs, hands within each other, and they all cheered. there were so many people: they held cards and signs, flowers and balloons, and they smiled widely. you were terrified. who are these people? what are they saying? are these good cheers or scary cheers? what do these signs say? am i going somewhere with one of them now?  i could feel the cold sweat of your hands as you panicked. i could see the fear and confusion in your eyes. then i cried, not tears of joy though. i cried because i realized i asked those people to come for my vision, my excitement. now i saw how it scared you, how you didn't understand. and i then cried with you. i tried to apologize, but you couldn't understand my words.

i weep for your first time here, when you are filled with fear and confusion. i weep for how you'll miss the only life you've known. it might not be a "good" life, and less as most americans would measure it, but it was your life, and you knew it. i weep at the hurt you've experience, the rejection you may have felt, the times you've seen others go home to their forever families. i weep for the frustration you'll feel as you hear words you do not understand and try to learn a new language.  i weep at the thought of there being any faint memory of seeing your birth mommy walk away when you were so tiny. i tell myself that surely God's mercy would wipe such a visual memory.  i dream that you will feel joy when you see me walking toward you. God's redemption is beautiful.

i dream of showing you unconditional love you should have had from the beginning. i dream of being able to put my hand on your forehead and kiss your sweet cheek goodnight and of whispering prayers over you the way it should have been for the last 10 years.

i dream dreams that bring tears of joy for the hope to come, and also tears of sorrow for the hurt you have felt.

in every way now, you fill my dreams.

hope is rising sweet girl



Tuesday, January 7, 2014

it takes a village

adoptions cost a lot of money.  here's why:
cost breakdown..it adds up!

in a perfect world, we (and other families adopting) would have this lump sum in an account already, but this is reality, and we don't.  in a moment of anxious concern, after not having any success with fundraising, i posted a simple little question in an online adoption community site, asking why some families have great success with fundraising, and others none. my goodness! the response and offers for help i received from other families who are in the midst of adoption themselves was so humbling!

we've had several online fundraisers set up for us where we receive a helpful portion of the total purchase to go toward bringing our sweet girl home, there are the links on the side of the page for you to look if you'd like. some are direct links for a fundraising page: usborne books, trades of hope, and with the others, if you enter my name: "carmen preciado" in the order notes, a portion will go toward our adoption: johari creations, young living, thirtyone and ginger on a mission. you can also join our wolfpack by buying a t-shirt here (we have to sell at least 20 for them to print, but our goal is 75): adoption wolfpack t-shirt :)

adoption is God's heart! He adopted us, gave us an inheritance we did not deserve and called us His own!  He became our Father, whom loves us dearly. there is nothing we did to be adopted by Him--nothing! out of His great love, He gave us life, hope, joy, love, and a future with Him. adoption is modeled after this! our sweet girl has waited and waited, seeing other children have forever families come for them. so many other children continue to wait! that is not His will. His heart breaks with each abandoned baby, each abused child, each child who lost their parents at too early of an age.  our sweet girl deserves to be someone's daughter, she deserves to have her head rubbed when she's sick, she deserves a mommy to cook with, she deserves a life where she is loved with a love unimaginable, where scripture is prayed over her, wounds healed, and where she will not be abandoned in the tough times.

and! for each donation, we'll make a cute little ladybug with your name on it, to be put in her closet (she'll have a huge closet--hopefully it will be overflowing with ladybugs crawling everywhere! :) who doesn't want their name on a ladybug! every little bit adds up! no amount is too small! $5, $10, $15? He will bless it all! and when she opens her closet everyday, she'll see the names of the village that brought her to her forever family :).

ryan and i are purposely wanting to adopt an "older" child with special needs before we have biological children, because we recognize it'll be a difficult transition for her--coming to a country that is completely culturally different, not understanding the language, not having a acclimation toward the food, and the attachment process, oh, our sweet girl. we covet your prayers for this, that she would feel safe and loved in our--her! home, that she would know that she is our daughter and we will never leave her or hurt her. that her heart would be open to be loved, and becoming part of a family. honestly, it is a difficult process for these older children, think about it from their life! we want God's hand to be upon it so desperately, so graciously, so wonderfully, she deserves to feel His hand upon her, to heal her heart. we want to be able to focus all of our time, attention, effort, and energy to her, helping her, loving her, giving her what her heart and sweet spirit needs!

please join with us, in prayer, support, encouragement, and if you are able, financially--God sees the heart, and a small amount given with prayer, He will honor and bless!

thank you!

also, look at all these other sweet children that need their forever family! no amount is too small to give toward their adoption too (most of these children do not yet have a family coming for them, so the donations help lower the cost for a family that otherwise might not be able to).

next time we take this picture she'll be sitting between us, holding this incredible ostrich! :)