there's perfection in the imperfection

why are we not adopting a "perfect" child?
because there's perfection in the imperfection, because the perfect love of Christ is shown when we do what He did: go out into the nations, becoming His hands and feet, setting the lonely in families (psalm 68:6), lifting up the last to become first (matthew 20:16), and doing unto the "least of these" (matthew 25:40).

He adopted us when we were imperfect, sick with greediness and rowdiness, crippled with eyes that sought out the frivolous things of this world, made lazy with legs that were content in one place, and marred with self-inflicted wounds from bad choices--that's how we were when He adopted us (romans 5:8)!
but! when we were lonely, He came to us. when we wee sick, He carried us. when we were unworthy and unwanted, He called us His own (zechariah 3:1-5).  why are we not doing to that to others?! His love is in us-how can we not!

it's not about "us". it's not about having a child to take cute pictures with, and wear matching outfits with. it's not about having a child's room to fill with "stuff" which will become broken and forgotten. it's about the story of His redemption. it's about getting to live out His promise, and be His hands and feet. it's about a bigger story. it's about His promise. it's about complete and total faith in Him, and desiring to see His Kingdom of Love grow and grow, and giving a name to the nameless, a home to the homeless, a heart to the lonely, and kisses to the forgotten. it's about embracing the leper, and carrying the lame (luke 10:25-37). it's about Jesus! it's about His word! it's not about us! it's not about you. it's about the abandoned, sick, and lonely being part of His fulfilled promises and words.

we're painting a picture in our actions and deeds of His wishes, His heart. He loves adoption! He loves seeing the "least of these" sought out.

i don't even know what to say besides it's not about anyone, but our daughter and Jesus. there's so much joy that flows from the heart when He guides your path to something (psalm 40:8), those things that make others question and ask "why", those things that others attack and don't understand, i can't explain it, i can only point to the Word, and say, "this is why!"

when you see these children, don't keep scrolling to look for a "perfect one", don't look at these precious, beautiful faces and think about all the vacations you'd miss if you brought one home, don't think about what you won't be able to do if you say "yes"...think of the joy in saying "yes!" believe there is far greater joy in acting on His words than any other dreams of your life can hold...that and "imperfect" children love the beach and disney world too! :)

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you can help us to bring "ruth" home by buying a beautiful item created by beautiful women in developing countries, and a portion will go to our adoption.
you help these beautiful women all over the world, and us too! it's a win/win!

ENTER "CARMEN PRECIADO" in the order notes for a portion to go toward our adoption. :)
http://joharicreations.com

we bought an ostrich for her :)  

i miss you (and a lot of people can't understand that)

sweet girl,

i miss you.

a lot of people cannot understand that. since we have not met, and i'm not even using your "real" name yet (we refer to you as "ruth"), i've found (through bewildered expressions) that many don't understand how my heart aches to have you home, to visit with you, to know that you are officially a "preciado".

it's almost christmas time, and there's a giant dog, most certainly bigger than you are, in what will be your room.  it kinda freaks one of our cats out (the one that's neurotic anyway...) since she thinks it's her room....
i was lying in bed with your daddy talking, and i told him i missed you.  maybe it's a woman/mommy thing, but his response was more of a "oh. i know". but, in my heart, i miss you. i feel as if when God placed you in my heart, He also went back in time, to have had you in my heart all along, and because of that, now, i miss you.

i feel as if i should be going upstairs and scooping you up in my arms, doing your therapies with you, holding your hand as you unsteadily make your way through a parking lot with me to pick up more hot cocoa and marshmallows for us to enjoy together on these cold nights.

but you are so far away, and i miss you.
geography separates us.
time separates us.
less importantly, funds separate us (but it all belongs to God, so, we're not sweating that!)

i was talking to the sweet girl that cuts my hair about you, and the longing in my heart grew, and i began to miss you more. tears slowly gathered in my eyes, and i thought "surely this lady thinks i'm silly", but she gently understood, and what a beautiful thing this process is. i want to tell her about the Lord's plan of redemption, how satan means so much of sickness, separation, orphanages, for evil, but that God, through His great love, redeems it all. i want her to see Jesus in this. your daddy and i have dreams that others see Jesus in you.

i miss you still, but, i don't really need other people to understand. He understands. our heavenly Father. your heavenly Father. the One who knit you in your birth mommy's womb, and placed you in my heart. the One who  placed a lifetime of love for in my heart. He will work this together to bring us to you, to lavish love like a waterfall on you.

each second that i miss you, i pray for you.

my heart cannot wait until we can come for you.

aforementioned huge dog (cat pictured is NOT the neurotic cat, it's our cat that thinks it's a dog)

i will fight for you

sweet girl, i will fight for you.
these obstacles only make my love abound for you, and my determination find no limits.

you are not a punishment, (contrary to what i've been told).
i will not sit on a sandy beach, sun shining on me, breeze through my hair, as you wait and wait, wondering when and if somebody will come for you.

money, all that is in this world, belongs to God, and you are more valuable to Him than possessions and wealth of the world, and He will bring us to you, because you are His, and everything is His.

He knows your name, it is written on the palm of His hand.

He will set you in our family, i will tear down walls to bring you home.
my knees grow sore and scarred from time spent praying with fervency for you.

sweet girl, i feel broken, but i am strengthened knowing of His redemptive plan.
He is preparing your home, He is preparing me, your mommy, to continue to fight for you.

all in the world is His, and He will provide and bring us to you.
He knows your name, and will not let you grow lonely, but He will grow us in each other's heart.

psalm 102:

1Hear my prayer, Lord;

let my cry for help come to you.

2Do not hide your face from me

when I am in distress.

Turn your ear to me;

when I call, answer me quickly.

3For my days vanish like smoke;

my bones burn like glowing embers.

4My heart is blighted and withered like grass;

I forget to eat my food.

5In my distress I groan aloud

and am reduced to skin and bones.

6I am like a desert owl,

like an owl among the ruins.

7I lie awake; I have become

like a bird alone on a roof.

8All day long my enemies taunt me;

those who rail against me use my name as a curse.

9For I eat ashes as my food

and mingle my drink with tears

10because of your great wrath,

for you have taken me up and thrown me aside.

11My days are like the evening shadow;

I wither away like grass.

12But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever;

your renown endures through all generations.

13You will arise and have compassion on Zion,

for it is time to show favor to her;

the appointed time has come.

14For her stones are dear to your servants;

her very dust moves them to pity.

15The nations will fear the name of the Lord,

all the kings of the earth will revere your glory.

16For the Lord will rebuild Zion

and appear in his glory.

17He will respond to the prayer of the destitute;

he will not despise their plea.

18Let this be written for a future generation,

that a people not yet created may praise the Lord:

19“The Lord looked down from his sanctuary on high,

from heaven he viewed the earth,

20to hear the groans of the prisoners

and release those condemned to death.”

21So the name of the Lord will be declared in Zion

and his praise in Jerusalem

22when the peoples and the kingdoms

assemble to worship the Lord.

23In the course of my life^b he broke my strength;

he cut short my days.

24So I said:

“Do not take me away, my God, in the midst of my days;

your years go on through all generations.

25In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth,

and the heavens are the work of your hands.

26They will perish, but you remain;

they will all wear out like a garment.

Like clothing you will change them

and they will be discarded.

27But you remain the same,

and your years will never end.

28The children of your servants will live in your presence;

their descendants will be established before you.”

i weep for you daily

sweet girl.

God is bringing people into our lives already to begin to serve you.  yes, serve you! we were celebrating your friend-cousin's "gotcha day" and i was telling them about you.  your wait, how i longed to bring you home.  how i wanted to move to "---" until i could bring you home, but how we had much to do to prepare your new home.  and a sweet lady there told me she was an OT (we'll be real close to them!), and her husband worked with a charity that remodeled bathrooms for children with special needs.

i laughed as i thought, "God's got this".  i smiled as i thought of how he brought us to you through dreams i've had for the last 2 years.  i question why i deserve to be your mommy, why i deserve to be led to you in dreams, and God's response is that it's not i who deserve it, you deserve the miracles to bring you home.  you deserve His interventions for your life to be redeemed, and promises fulfilled.

i found a lovey for you.  it's a soft teddy bear, and the purchase of it helps other children who lost their mommies and daddies too.

we pray for you everyday.  i cry for you everyday.  in those evenings in my car, alone, driving home, tears stream down my face, and my heart weeps for the pain you've endured, it weeps for you to know we are coming for you, it weeps for you to feel even a fraction of the overwhelming love we have for you.

sweet girl, i hold you in my heart.

one less, one at a time

your daddy bought a picture for you room, and he's painting it's frame to make it perfectly lovely.
you are in his heart.

today is orphan sunday, and i pray that you won't be alone on this day next year.  i pray you'll be at church with us, a perfect representation of God's love, and His plan for redemption.  i pray that on next year's orphan sunday, you will be one less.  i pray that He has showed us to you in your dreams, and that you know in your heart that we are coming, just as we know in our heart we are coming for you.

she assures me

she assures me that you are taken care of, and that the long process ensures no one has hurt you before.

i dreamt about you last night.  i dreamt your face lit up when we met, because you knew i was your forever mommy. i dreamt that we made a countdown chain for you to use after we left from our first visit until we reunited for "gotcha day".  i dreamt i rubbed your sweet head, and prayed with you at bedtime. i dreamt our Heavenly Father smiled over you, as He pointed to His Word, knowing that His words never fail: "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you"--john 14:18; "He places the lonely in families"--psalm 68:6.

your daddy dreamt about you too.  he dreamt i brought you to visit him at work, and his employees gathered around you and shed tears of joy; your daddy dreamt that your homecoming led them to our Heavenly Father, and that your joy was a message of the strength He provides.

hold on dear daughter, His plans for you are already changing lives.

we love you.

i met you in my dream

a few years ago i dreamt you came home with me, in your wheelchair, with your sweet dark hair lay somewhat wavy on your precious head. my mom (your nana) was crying tears of joy to meet you.  she was afraid to touch your delicate, fragile hand, but she did and you smiled.

now, years later, as i was looking over the sweet names and faces of an adoption advocacy site for special needs children, i saw you.  you weren't just in my dreams, you were really designed, created, and knit in your birth mommy's womb by the hands of God.


sweet girl, you brought tears to my eyes for days, until i could talk to my husband, the man i hoped would be able to be your daddy, and he agreed we should pursue you, begin the process to bring you home. it turns out, you actually already have a family coming for you.


...i pray you feel the sincerity of love from your new family.
i pray He multiplies your love and blessings for the years spent without.

i hope they dreamt about your sweet face too.

but you were our beacon--as my husband put it, our "guide" to show us now was the time to begin the process to bring another child, with special needs, looked over for so many years, home.


we will.  for our first anniversary gift to each other, we will sign on with an incredible agency to bring a dear one home. an older girl, with special needs, who has seen so many younger ones, so many healthy ones, go to their forever families, while she waited.

dear sweet beautiful girl, i don't know who you are yet, but we're coming for you. and we love you.
my heart aches to meet you, my hands to comfort you and pray over you, and my lips to cover your sweet face in kisses.

i love you, before i even know you.